We're two games into the season and Detroit Red Wings fans are trying everything they can to right the ship in Hockeytown.
They've posted open letters rebuking ownership. They've started petitions to get CEO and owner Chris Ilitch to sell the team.
Now, they're hiring witches to lift curses.
Octopus Thrower Site Expert Jake Rivard decided to take matters into his own hands the moment he saw Sunday's 3-2 loss to the Winnipeg Jets.
I've decided to take matters into my own hands pic.twitter.com/LrZ4g2uJ5q
— Jake (@313Hockey) October 5, 2026
"I mean, at this point, it's gotta be a curse," Rivard said. "Every day, there's a new horror unleashed on this fanbase. Every day, we have to contend with new nightmares. I'm convinced someone cursed the team a while ago and now I'm off to make it right."
Hoping to take a page out of the Seattle Mariners' book, Rivard hired a witch off Etsy to lift the curse plaguing the Wings. In 2025, a Mariners fan hired an Etsy witch to lift a curse on the Mariners. The team went on to win six games in a row, outscoring the Atlanta Braves 28-4 in their series. If things go right - and if this truly is a curse - there's a chance we'll see similar fortunes in Hockeytown.
Fans doing everything they can to help the team
October has just begun and many fans already feel like they're at their limit with the Red Wings. A petition to get Chris Ilitch to sell the team has nearly reached 1,000 signatures. Chants of "sell the team" echo among the half-empty halls of Little Caesar's Arena. Fans in attendance show signs asking the team to sign defenseman Simon Edvinsson. Boos erupt at a faster, more disgruntled pace than ever before.
The energy and excitement surrounding the team couldn't be lower.
It's a shame, too, considering that nearly half the roster is 25 or younger. There's a lot to be excited about with the emergence of young talents like Anton Johansson and Michael Brandsegg-Nygard. Unfortunately, they're overshadowed by the organizational incompetence that continues to plague this franchise. Between Simon Edvinsson's potential trade and the Red Wings' inability to find a general manager, it seems like there's a new story on Detroit's incompetence every day.
The fans, rightfully, are frustrated. Some are boycotting the team. Others, frustrated with their season ticket purchases, have listed all their games on ticket selling sites. Tickets to tomorrow's bout against the Ottawa Senators are currently running as low as $18 per seat.
Something has to give, sooner or later.
"It might just be a silly Etsy thing, but we've gotta try everything we can," Rivard added. "I mean, I'm not out on the ice. I don't own the team. What else can I do?"
If we start to see some movement and clarity in the coming weeks, we can thank our local witches for finally lifting the curse on the Red Wings.
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