Go Away Avery

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When the cagey Ken Holland pulled the trigger on the Robert Lang deal (a trade that was marginally satisfying at best), CBC’s Don Cherry made the facetious remark that the calculating GM must have some mind-altering fume at his disposal to use on rival managers, in order to acquire desired players.

If we can step into fantasy land for a moment, and grant that this vapor is wielded by Detroit’s manager, it must also give him glimpses into the future so he can make the appropriate adjustments to the team.

This explains how Holland was able to make the very auspicious decision in 2003, to jettison the most classless, embarrassing and ultimately useless excuse for a hockey player in the world.

The creature I am speaking of, is the repugnant Sean Avery.  

Over the seasons, it has occurred to me that Avery’s antics, border on being sociopathic.

The man simply has no concept of dignity or self-mastery whatsoever.  I’d venture to say that we as fans are scarcely aware of the worst poisons that have been spewed by this sadistic clown.

Now what I am saying here may seem to contradict the assertions I made in my post on profanity.  Before I am accused of hypocrisy, it should be remembered that there are exceptions to every rule.  The litany of verminous behaviors that are generated from this silly little person, is more exhaustive and sweeping than practically any player I have ever heard of.

This morning, I was sent a video of more Avery babel, this time feebly threatening to “kill Giroux.”

Coming from another player, this wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But in this case, it comes from a cowardly turtle-sheller, who has somehow managed to escape being mangled by a player bigger, stronger and meaner than himself.

I know the enforcer is being phased out of the modern NHL, and I’m fine with that. But please, someone clean up the garbage here.

Avery made what was probably a sincere attempt to wipe the filth from his image when he publicly announced that he would personally fly to any rink in North America, and stand with any young player who was afraid to out himself in front of his teammates.

Sorry, Sean. Too late.

You have devalued and cheapened the noble title of “professional hockey player” by making yourself a ridiculous distraction.  The game is more important than you are, despite the fact that you are of no importance.

It’s time for the NHL to find some form of antibiotic against this human-bacteria. Let’s thank our lucky stars that this circus act did not put on his clown suit while in Detroit.

Let’s also thank Kenny Holland, and the manufacturers of his magic hypnotic.

Ian

 

http://twitter.com/#!/ianflemingdunha

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Tags: Avery Psycho Claude Giroux Detroit Red Wings Don Cherry Ken Holland Profanity Robert Lang Trade Sean Avery Sean Avery Crazy Sean Avery Quotes

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